Im sad. Or jealous. I have a hard time telling them apart. Im watching vids of acacia clark. Because, if I could have one wish, it would be to be her. Just what Id like. Or famous. And pretty. And funny. If you dont know who she is, click here. Check out her channel.
Anyway, my kids are going to be amazing. Im going to be rich. Like, its not a “I hope I have alot of money.” Just, I will be. Im not even going to let myself think that my kids will have a life somewhat like mine. They will have tvs in their room, perfect phones, any pets they want, an amazing room. Its going to be all matching. Ill take them on shopping sprees. All they have to do is be happy. I want them to be famous, on whatever social networking site is out there. Cause, it sounds so fun. Ill buy amazing cameras for them. They will post amazing pictures of random stuff with random quotes. But, as long as they are happy, and can have what I dont have, then I will feel successful. I want to be the perfect mother. Paying for her and her friends to go to the movies. To go to the mall. Letting them hang out whenever.
Thinking of this makes me happy. I think, omg, Im not just gonna be someone who writes nice comments that the person will never read, I will be the person who makes this possible, who is there for her, who KNOWS her. I will be her best friend, I suppose.
Ive always wondered what would happen if I killed myself. I believe in reincarnation. Who would I be. And, in my past life, was I depressed? Did I kill myself? Before I died, did I say, if in my next life, Im depressed, to end it all and try again? I wonder what my next life would be like.